Because I Miss You
This is currently my favorite song on repeat. It is from the Korean drama "Heartstrings," which is the fourth Kdrama that I've watched in my life so far other than I think....Romantic Princess? Rooftop Prince and Playful Kiss. I love all the guys in those dramas, but especially Micky Yoochun in Rooftop and Jung Yong hwa from Heartstrings. They are just so alike and yet different and so adorable. Watching these makes me so emotional and wishing that I'd get a cute boyfriend like them. The way that he plays his guitar and when he improves from his dad makes me motivated and want to learn to play guitar, just to play this song. I think I will do it. Actually, I should and can do it. I will do it.
Lately, I haven't been upset so I guess that is good, but I have to say these months have had so much things going on. So much crying. So much pain. And it's crazy that though it has all happened, I've made it through. I'm still here and I've made it into UCSB. I'm going to UCSB. I'm so nervous though. I think people understand that I am nervous, but they don't fully get how much it is worrying me. I'm not the type to just go make friends or even want to socialize at times. How am I going to even be able to survive up there will being motivated to study hard? I know I can do it, yet at the same time I really just doubt myself because I've never really been on my own. I know that it's not like I won't ever get to see my family again, but the difference from this is that I can't just go back home in a week or a month. I am up there for like half a year and then back. I will be spending my next four years in this totally new place. I don't even know anyone here that's going there.
I know that if I take this step, it will help me become more independent, but I just really hope that I'll be okay. I don't want to worry about being harassed or anything up there or even about my family down here. Please let everything be good up in UCSB. Please.
Anyways, this last spring break of my high school career has been good. Relaxing....and that trip to UCSB on Monday really helped me decide.
Bloop.
Lately, I haven't been upset so I guess that is good, but I have to say these months have had so much things going on. So much crying. So much pain. And it's crazy that though it has all happened, I've made it through. I'm still here and I've made it into UCSB. I'm going to UCSB. I'm so nervous though. I think people understand that I am nervous, but they don't fully get how much it is worrying me. I'm not the type to just go make friends or even want to socialize at times. How am I going to even be able to survive up there will being motivated to study hard? I know I can do it, yet at the same time I really just doubt myself because I've never really been on my own. I know that it's not like I won't ever get to see my family again, but the difference from this is that I can't just go back home in a week or a month. I am up there for like half a year and then back. I will be spending my next four years in this totally new place. I don't even know anyone here that's going there.
I know that if I take this step, it will help me become more independent, but I just really hope that I'll be okay. I don't want to worry about being harassed or anything up there or even about my family down here. Please let everything be good up in UCSB. Please.
Anyways, this last spring break of my high school career has been good. Relaxing....and that trip to UCSB on Monday really helped me decide.
Bloop.
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