Panic Attacks

I can't believe that I've been getting really bad panic attacks. Now that I know that I'm getting them, I'm beginning to question if all the other times before where I've broken down were panic attacks or not. Regardless of if they were or not, they are scary. I am so afraid to let others know because it means that you're allowing them to see your vulnerable side. And, I just don't want others to think I'm crazy....but I guess I shouldn't even be worrying about that. I should just be trying to better myself, doing what I can so that I don't constantly break down - which I feel like could happen so easily right now. I just want to be happy and not have to deal with finals, but I guess that's what's just going to have to happen, and there's no way out of it.

I wish I could just learn guitar instead.


I really miss you. I know I'm just going to have to secretly love you if feelings still do persist. It hopefully won't be as painful this time. Love is blissful. It should not have to be that painful to love someone or care for them. I definitely care for you. I already see you as really close to a best friend...I just have to see if you will consider me as one.