Respect My Decision

Honestly though...I don't get why I always have to put out effort to go hang out with people when I just got back from Santa Barbara. I get that I have to put out some effort too in a relationship, but like it's always more me. It's always me texting first. Always me coming over to people's houses. Does everyone ever wanna come over to mine? Not really. Because I'm not fucking important enough for anybody. How do you expect me to hang out with them anyway? I have a fucking job that I want to keep and a future job that I actually really look forward to. I can't just put my life on the line basically just for a couple of times of summer fun or hanging out for fun. We wouldn't really have to do much catching up if they were really my friends anyway. I mean there's always gonna be some but they wouldn't be missing the while quarter. I just can't do it Derek. I don't know how else to explain it to you because I already did. Please respect my decision. Plus, they don't even care to text back or reply when I did text them. And I don't want to go chasing after people who say they will be there for me when they really won't. I don't do with that bullshit. I've had enough of it so far and you yourself can't even help me with my problems. What makes you think they can? They can't. You all can't because you don't have to worry about financial problems or health problems or dumb shit like this. I don't even know how to handle my life. I don't even know how to help my brother.