Let's Be Honest

The truth is I do miss you. I miss the days we would spend together at your place, at my place, at different places. I loved the cruise experience, and I loved working with you. Sometimes I'm not sure if I was wrong or if I was right. Maybe that doesn't even matter? It does hurt, and it hurts to know that you don't even think about it. I guess that's your way of coping because it allows you to move on with your life. For me, it kind of overtakes me and I end up being paralyzed for that moment in time. I guess that's what you call emotions over reasoning. Your's isn't quite different either. I used to do it too and sometimes I still do for certain things/situations. I know you feel something, you just choose to not think about it, not reason, you just ignore it. Sometimes I think this is the worser because you're not even facing your problems. You're not acknowledging it and even trying to move past it. You just simply delete it. Erase it. As if it did not exist. And that cannot be. It can't for me because it happened. And I sometimes get mad at you because you're just so stupid. How could you be so stupid? How could I be so stupid? And so blind? What was it that I was so enamored with? I mean there had to be something...right? I mean, of course there was, and there probably is. It's just we've grown, and you don't think that there's more to a person to be see. That's the most absurd and ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Every single day, fuck, every single second, I am changing. My thoughts take me to another space, another thought, maybe completely different than the one before. It is ever-changing, and you dare tell me that we've known each other and there's nothing to talk about? It's not that I'm boring. It's that you're not trying. You think that just because you've known someone for a year, that it gives you the right to just be complacent and "comfortable?" It's not even comfort. It's comfort in the sense that you are able to sit with me and be yourself, let yourself go, literally fart so many times if you want to. Yet

man, I don't know. I got interrupted. Answered Jessica on Facebook. Well, anyway, I guess I don't really care as much now to write about this.