Ehh
Day, days, many days pass. [Btw I'm very hungry] I don't like DL anymore...Idk if I should be happy about that or sad
Happy: I can finally move onto someone else.
Sad: Moving onto to someone else, but that person just hurts me so much cause I have to face seeing him with his ex all the time :l.
I actually don't know when I stopped liking him....along while after the Valentine Grams I knew I did cause I felt nothing, but I kept trying cause I had no goal, no purpose and most people already knew that I liked him so why not go along? So all that time...I lied to myself :l I told myself that I liked him and he's more than a friend. Why don't I sing a song at VietClub Banquet, then dedicate it to him? I did that too, but he didn't know it was for him. I also didn't want to give up on him since I did so many things for him.....Anyway, at beginning of the year....I saw this guy...I was like "Oh my, he's really cute ^^". Too bad though cause I didn't even know him so it was whatevers.....that's when I started to like DL around December, but it wasn't like major crushing...just a little one. Next thing you know....that one guy that I didn't know was dating my friend....at first I thought he was cute still, but I forced myself to stopp cause he's my friend's boyfriend...I wouldn't want my friends to do that to my boyfriend if I had one, so yeah.
So then they broke up :l and we started to get closer...ehh and my feelings just started to develop :[....I didn't know what to do so I kept telling myself "I like DL. I like DL." I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings so I kept doing that everyday and apparently it didn't work...Then last week, I finally decided that all these times, I've never really liked DL. I like him instead :l. I wish I didn't cause I know my friend can be vicious and she would kill me if she knew I liked him....but then that one day when I cried at school because of "her", my friend was talking to me...she said things that made me totally not want to like him anymore. I tried to stop...but afterwards, I found out she kinda lied to me.....and then I started to see her with that other guy that she liked at the beginning...I felt like it was safe to be closer to him so I didn't really try to stop myself. Overtime it was just too much.....I kinda like him...I know I like him....I don't know anymore. Then stupid Andrew on Monday told him in front of my face in 5th period that I liked him...just to fake it off...I laughed it off and said I didn't know what he was talking about...What a fail excuse right? But I tried :l.....That day, I felt so horrible and plus he didn't come to hang out with me half the time like he always does...instead he was at the other bench. WTF right - Stalkermuch? ehhh but like I just noticed :l and I just had so many thoughts going through my mind...he knew...Anre told him...He's smart enough to put everything together...he knows ;[....He doesn't wanna face me?.....then the next day in history....we had to move seats and stuff...i forgot if that was the day Andrew told him that I liked him for the second time -_-. It was so ughh, I wanted to slapp him in the face cause I already felt bad enough. I know he didn't like me so why have the need to go get myself rejected -___- but NOOO Andrew has to be all "She likes youu." Now today...I really liked it...at lunch time we kinda messed around and stuff ^^....and then afterschool, I was able to go play volleyball. He was there too and like I really liked it when he hugged me cause he accidently hit me in the head with the ball ;).....but me and my stupidness...I pushed him away, I don't even know why..it was jokingly, but still D: -sigh- and then later...he put his arms around my backpack when I had it on o.O...lol it was so ewww cause I felt all nasty, sticky, and sweaty from playing vball....I didn't want him to notice those things so I tried to get away, but not really working out. Honestly, I liked the timee with him...might not be boyfriend/girlfriend material, but cutee.
However, my friend came :l...I got jealous...I've noticed that I've been getting weird mood swings lately...happy to sad, sad to happy. It's crazy. Also, I've been so jealous too -__________-" I hate being jealous. It's a sin :l. Anyway, she came...and I felt a wave of sadness come over me. They were sitting together and stuff and I know they aren't together anymore, but I know he doesn't liek me. I know he was her ex and I know that he probably still has feelings for her. FML.
Happy: I can finally move onto someone else.
Sad: Moving onto to someone else, but that person just hurts me so much cause I have to face seeing him with his ex all the time :l.
I actually don't know when I stopped liking him....along while after the Valentine Grams I knew I did cause I felt nothing, but I kept trying cause I had no goal, no purpose and most people already knew that I liked him so why not go along? So all that time...I lied to myself :l I told myself that I liked him and he's more than a friend. Why don't I sing a song at VietClub Banquet, then dedicate it to him? I did that too, but he didn't know it was for him. I also didn't want to give up on him since I did so many things for him.....Anyway, at beginning of the year....I saw this guy...I was like "Oh my, he's really cute ^^". Too bad though cause I didn't even know him so it was whatevers.....that's when I started to like DL around December, but it wasn't like major crushing...just a little one. Next thing you know....that one guy that I didn't know was dating my friend....at first I thought he was cute still, but I forced myself to stopp cause he's my friend's boyfriend...I wouldn't want my friends to do that to my boyfriend if I had one, so yeah.
So then they broke up :l and we started to get closer...ehh and my feelings just started to develop :[....I didn't know what to do so I kept telling myself "I like DL. I like DL." I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings so I kept doing that everyday and apparently it didn't work...Then last week, I finally decided that all these times, I've never really liked DL. I like him instead :l. I wish I didn't cause I know my friend can be vicious and she would kill me if she knew I liked him....but then that one day when I cried at school because of "her", my friend was talking to me...she said things that made me totally not want to like him anymore. I tried to stop...but afterwards, I found out she kinda lied to me.....and then I started to see her with that other guy that she liked at the beginning...I felt like it was safe to be closer to him so I didn't really try to stop myself. Overtime it was just too much.....I kinda like him...I know I like him....I don't know anymore. Then stupid Andrew on Monday told him in front of my face in 5th period that I liked him...just to fake it off...I laughed it off and said I didn't know what he was talking about...What a fail excuse right? But I tried :l.....That day, I felt so horrible and plus he didn't come to hang out with me half the time like he always does...instead he was at the other bench. WTF right - Stalkermuch? ehhh but like I just noticed :l and I just had so many thoughts going through my mind...he knew...Anre told him...He's smart enough to put everything together...he knows ;[....He doesn't wanna face me?.....then the next day in history....we had to move seats and stuff...i forgot if that was the day Andrew told him that I liked him for the second time -_-. It was so ughh, I wanted to slapp him in the face cause I already felt bad enough. I know he didn't like me so why have the need to go get myself rejected -___- but NOOO Andrew has to be all "She likes youu." Now today...I really liked it...at lunch time we kinda messed around and stuff ^^....and then afterschool, I was able to go play volleyball. He was there too and like I really liked it when he hugged me cause he accidently hit me in the head with the ball ;).....but me and my stupidness...I pushed him away, I don't even know why..it was jokingly, but still D: -sigh- and then later...he put his arms around my backpack when I had it on o.O...lol it was so ewww cause I felt all nasty, sticky, and sweaty from playing vball....I didn't want him to notice those things so I tried to get away, but not really working out. Honestly, I liked the timee with him...might not be boyfriend/girlfriend material, but cutee.
However, my friend came :l...I got jealous...I've noticed that I've been getting weird mood swings lately...happy to sad, sad to happy. It's crazy. Also, I've been so jealous too -__________-" I hate being jealous. It's a sin :l. Anyway, she came...and I felt a wave of sadness come over me. They were sitting together and stuff and I know they aren't together anymore, but I know he doesn't liek me. I know he was her ex and I know that he probably still has feelings for her. FML.
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