OMFG
I swear I get so pissed....why can't people THINK about others for once and stop being so selffish. Yeah, I know you're probably like wtf stop being a hypocrite, but seriously. I'm mostly not cause I really do try to make other people happy. I know I'm not the greatest daughter in the world, but I do think about consequences if I don't listen to my parents and I AVOID that. I try to keep my friends happy, but sometimes it's just TOO much. One person can't do everything...only some things to a limit. I make up jokes and I ignore harsh comments and insults. It's not like I don't have fucking feelings people. WHY can't my friends stfu and think about what they're saying...maybe it is hurtful to others? Ever thought of that? Yeah..I don't yell at your face straight out cause I'm not born like that..I'm a quiet person..I like peace, but you know that if you get me angry enough ...I'll just scream..You know that. However, they won't just stop to think that you're not in my shoes. You don't know what I'm going through and what it's like...yeah you might have something similar...but you don't know what it feels like to have CST's coming up...your parents fighting &wanting a divorce...you try to study at night but end up crying and try to call two of your best guy friends, but they can't do shit...don't know that you're crying or just don't pick up, and in the end, you end up calling the one that actually really cares. My friend KristenH is the only one so far that is like always listening to me vent and cry and shitt and she actually cries...I feel bad about that btw.
Anyway, back to the topic. Why can't you people just think about others for once? It doesn't hurt just to please someone else...Just know your limits and you'll be finee. But why can't you think for me? Why do you have to make me a pushover? I'm tired of school...I hate it! I hate the work, I hate the drama, I hate the tests....I feel like I'm slacking, but I'm trying so much more then the beginning of the year to get all A+'s...Yes. A+, not just any A. The one with the plus. I fucking wish that summer was over. I swear I would die if it didn't end. My brain like literally hurts and I just keep wondering sometimes, why don't I go crazy yet...? Why do I have to feel so strong....so willful to be successful? I wanna be dumber at times...makes life less stressful and easier. Helps cause less acne too. Then there's that point where I wish I was prettier too...or just at least acne-less...and better calves...I hate my calves...you know that? They're too big :l...I don't look good in dresses like other girls do...flaunting their legs and what not. -Sigh- I just wanna fit in and be myself...but it's so hard..so much pressure and stress...all these things don't help me. Yeah, I keep telling myself...."Oh, it's all good experience of the future." But it's just like lying to myself. I know I'm tired...I really am...my arms/legs/back ache like someone who's old. I wish my parents knew so that they could stop fighting...esp. because I need to focus on my CSTs...I don't wanna fail it and get in a regular class next year. Also, the eco is bad...I don't want to lose money...and then half of my family. I know that there's other people in the world that have less then me, but I just wish that the world could be more fair to people and that there was no more cruelty + global warming shitt. I don't even know what I'm talkin about now...-sigh- Blogs are a great way to vent and let out your angry feelings. Now I feel better.
Anyway, back to the topic. Why can't you people just think about others for once? It doesn't hurt just to please someone else...Just know your limits and you'll be finee. But why can't you think for me? Why do you have to make me a pushover? I'm tired of school...I hate it! I hate the work, I hate the drama, I hate the tests....I feel like I'm slacking, but I'm trying so much more then the beginning of the year to get all A+'s...Yes. A+, not just any A. The one with the plus. I fucking wish that summer was over. I swear I would die if it didn't end. My brain like literally hurts and I just keep wondering sometimes, why don't I go crazy yet...? Why do I have to feel so strong....so willful to be successful? I wanna be dumber at times...makes life less stressful and easier. Helps cause less acne too. Then there's that point where I wish I was prettier too...or just at least acne-less...and better calves...I hate my calves...you know that? They're too big :l...I don't look good in dresses like other girls do...flaunting their legs and what not. -Sigh- I just wanna fit in and be myself...but it's so hard..so much pressure and stress...all these things don't help me. Yeah, I keep telling myself...."Oh, it's all good experience of the future." But it's just like lying to myself. I know I'm tired...I really am...my arms/legs/back ache like someone who's old. I wish my parents knew so that they could stop fighting...esp. because I need to focus on my CSTs...I don't wanna fail it and get in a regular class next year. Also, the eco is bad...I don't want to lose money...and then half of my family. I know that there's other people in the world that have less then me, but I just wish that the world could be more fair to people and that there was no more cruelty + global warming shitt. I don't even know what I'm talkin about now...-sigh- Blogs are a great way to vent and let out your angry feelings. Now I feel better.
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