I Don't Really Know What Falling In Love Is

I can't tell if I'm already in love, or if I haven't even been. I just know that the people that are still in my life are ones that I truly do care about. I love my family to death. Tasi and Betty, though sometimes it may be rough here and there, they're going to be people that I will always care about in the end. I guess what I really wanna talk about is Derek. I don't understand why. I mean he hasn't replied to be yet, but I feel like he's putting his guard up again because I feel like he thinks I like him so he's being harsher, but fuckkkkk. STOP. Stop stop stop stop stoppppp. I cannot stress how much that hurts because I have been trying to stop having feelings for you. I finally have come to accept that it isn't going to happen. My heart is finally calm. I don't know how else to tell you. Sometimes I have hope here and there and I wish that you would just fall for me and it would be like the movies. But obviously life is not a movie, and I know how you feel. I think because I've finally come to this acceptance, that because you still feel guarded, it pushes me away too. I believe that I cannot give myself up to you with my voice because there is still parts of you that you guard. Just put it all away. We're best friends and I would rather not because it's really upsetting. I've just been messing with you lately because I haven't really hung out with you for like three weeks, and I would just really like to spend some time just with you before I go to school again in the month after...plus, you won't be here for like two weeks or something because you'll be in China, so yeah. I think this selfishness of wanting to spend time alone with people is because I have been doing that with Tasi and Betty and what not. I like that solo time with people. I get to be more genuine and it's just easier to let your guard down to each other.

- Sungha Jung -- Waiting -

He said he was joking -_- that little piece of shit. omg. fuck you. you lilllllldgfn dfngkngd omgdkfngrkdngnjgrkgrjkgrjkgdgr i still say what i said above is true