Coming to Terms (I Guess)

I guess I'm coming to terms with the fact that I genuinely like being around this girl. I suck in life though. Always finding people attractive, but they're always with someone. She has a girlfriend and I'm just an awkward turtle. We just finished watching LND (Love Never Dies) just awhile ago, and it was pretty depressing. I actually really like it though and I really like Phantom as well...Anyway, the whole point of this is that it sucks that she's with someone, but I truly did enjoy today. I liked sitting there and watching her do her thing. I liked that I was able to admire her playing the piano and endless singing, and making weird noises and stuff. I think it's not even absolutely insane. I actually think it's really cute, and that I find her cute and adorable. I even think she's really pretty and I wish...I should be going to sleep, but I just don't want to because I want to keep spending time with her. This is so weird because it has barely been a day that we've really hung out, and yet already these are the feels. I need to sleep though because my parents are coming tomorrow and I am going to wake up at 7, but also because I have a lot of homework and that I am going to have my English midterm on Wednesday. Fuck life seriously. As much as my love life always suck, I do admit that I really enjoy this right now because I am myself. I am not denying anything and I can do whatever I want basically. It's not my love life that's stressing me out, it's my academic life. I am like about ready to pull out my hair and cry everyday because I'm just so done with it. ESPECIALLY my writing class. I like it, but I don't like the work - basically the essays. I am just overwhelmed.

Back to the original topic because I don't want to get anymore depressed about that crap. I don't know where this is going to go or if it's even going to go anywhere, but I am just glad that now I know how I am. I am getting to understand myself better and not hate myself for it. It is still kind of weird, but at the same time it feels almost normal and I'm not really questioning it anymore. I'm just going to go with the flow and be much of me as possible, and just be happy.

Love with your heart.