Understanding

I've come to realize that you don't...you seriously don't choose who you find attractive. It can just happen. And if you're bi, you aren't confused about who you like...you can just find both sexes equally attractive. You also do have more choices, but at the same time...love still works the same for everyone. You fall in love with someone or you don't. You don't necessarily find EVERYONE attractive just because you're bi. You only find certain boys or girls attractive like if one were to be heterosexual, you would only find some people of that other gender to be attractive, and possibly only one that you will end up with. You don't fall in love with all...it's still a compatibility game. I think that now I'm like questioning how I am, that I am finally coming to understand all this and more. It isn't as easy as you think it is because for all my life, I've liked boys. Truth be told, I have checked out girls and find them attractive, but never in a sense where I felt like I liked them the way that I have with guys. Yet this one girl I met here is making me question myself. It is actually really hard for me to believe or accept that I could be bi or lesbian, I'm saying this right now. I can't even concentrate on my reading right now because it's bothering me. It shouldn't be a stressful topic, but because I've been taught that girls like boys and vice versa, it feels different and even a bit weird. I am afraid of what would happen if my parents knew. I am afraid of what could possibly happen because the world is so open now to gay marriage. It isn't fully open, but still enough that you are able to show who you really are. I guess I just have to see where things go, but wow...this experience is something that I would have probably never experienced back at home. I'm almost afraid, but really glad that I feel this way because now I truly understand that this isn't a choice at all. You don't choose your feelings and you definitely don't choose who you fall in love with. You just do.