I think when I can finally say "I've fallin' in love and it doesn't hurt," that is when it's love.
I mean, sure, it still will hurt because life will always throw rocks at you, but when you know that you truly love them and all they want is for you to be happy...Then that's that.
Sometimes I take a step back and look at my life without a relationship and honestly, I have to say I don't think I could handle one. As of now. My life is shit and I don't know how else anyone else would be able to handle it because sometimes, I almost feel like I can't even handle it. It is too much. And this is also why I have trust issues and why I am afraid of losing people...because I don't know who I can trust to tell them about the real me. The me behind all the smiles. The me and my family. That's when I just want to tell someone everything and not be judged. Just be hugged. Help me get along and through the day, but it doesn't work out like that. I want to tell someone everything, but at the same time I just want to push everyone away because I feel like no one cares and that even if they do, it is just too much to ask of them. I fear losing people because I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to lose the friends that I trust so dearly. I just want to be in bliss. I want to just be able to just be happy and fall madly in love with the world and life.
I mean, sure, it still will hurt because life will always throw rocks at you, but when you know that you truly love them and all they want is for you to be happy...Then that's that.
Sometimes I take a step back and look at my life without a relationship and honestly, I have to say I don't think I could handle one. As of now. My life is shit and I don't know how else anyone else would be able to handle it because sometimes, I almost feel like I can't even handle it. It is too much. And this is also why I have trust issues and why I am afraid of losing people...because I don't know who I can trust to tell them about the real me. The me behind all the smiles. The me and my family. That's when I just want to tell someone everything and not be judged. Just be hugged. Help me get along and through the day, but it doesn't work out like that. I want to tell someone everything, but at the same time I just want to push everyone away because I feel like no one cares and that even if they do, it is just too much to ask of them. I fear losing people because I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to lose the friends that I trust so dearly. I just want to be in bliss. I want to just be able to just be happy and fall madly in love with the world and life.
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