500 Days of Summer: Family VS Friends

Yesterday was my Baccalaureate. My parents couldn't go because my dad had to work and my mom didn't want to go. I ended up enjoying it more than usual though. Afterwards, Adrian A., Adrian M., Patty, Katie, and I all went to Katie's and Patty's so they could change and then we drove to Adrian's place for a bit and decided we were going to go to South Coast Plaza. I ended up driving his car and on the way, we saw Ikea and thought about 500 Days of Summer. We then just spontaneously decided to go to Ikea first and have a little adventure around the whole area. It was really amazing. I actually had so much fun in there with everyone. It WAS like 500 Days of Summer; exactly. We were going around, laying in the beds, sitting in the chairs, making up little stories, taking pictures, crawling through little kiddie doors, thinking of Narnia when opening closet doors. It was just fun to go and be imaginative with them, but I think many of those things...I enjoyed running around most with him. At times we would trail behind, go together in the elevators and just have fun. I can't help, but find him so attractive. Even though it's really fun to be with him and I find that I enjoy the time with him and all. I still can't bring myself to think of anything more. I want for there to be more, but I feel like it's going to end up exactly like the movie 500 Days of Summer....and that's not something I want. I want to be able to just enjoy my time with them, and especially him before I leave this city. It's not like there's much time left anyway to even do much. You can do a lot of things in 2 months, but the situation that I'm in, I don't think I can do much this summer. I really just want a job or something and get out of here. I would think that they would be happy that I'm graduating, but I think they hate me even more than ever and will continue to do so. If she's trying to adapt to the fact that I'm leaving, then well this is a sucky way to adapt because all the words she says hurts. It's not even a bit caring; it hurts. Yesterday was actually a really good day until I went home. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired and I still need to do my stupid research essay/5 mini projects. I just want yesterday again before everything bad happened. Friday and Saturday have been amazing days when I was with my friends. I was able to try new things and be adventurous and be myself. I can honestly say I've tried new things for the first time in the last two days. Going to ikea, being spontaneous, being a kid and forgetting the world is looking at you, eating cupcakes from The Perfect Circle, going to the OC circle, eating at TGIF, bumping thug music, doing a pizza run, and walking over the South Coast Plaza bridge for the first time. I gave him his letter too yesterday before I left. I wish I could just hug him or hold his hand or something. I don't want to keep holding myself back, but I feel like the feelings aren't mutual. It's only coming from me and my feelings are stronger. When I look at him, I just want to keep looking and smile. He's not the most handsome guy, nor anywhere near perfect actually. Yet I can see that genuineness in him somewhere. At times I can't tell still if I should trust him, but I know he's trying to be himself. Many times in Ikea, I would just look at him for a couple of seconds. Maybe those were just a figment of my imagination, but I see him looking back. Not those glances, but he's thinking about something. Maybe I am just imaging, but I know I was thinking. Like when there was that bed set on top of a level and a blue tarp. He jumped on the bed and I sat on the left side. When I turned back, we stared for awhile and then I said that we had to go because the others were already ahead of us. I wish we could have stayed in the moment for awhile.