Officially Missing You
Fuck seriously. That's just how I feel this morning. It sucks because now I'm stuck. There's no way to really rid of these feelings unless I don't talk to her at all, but that's only torture to myself. I've told Betty, Keem, Lesly, Danny, Stephanie, and Cherise, but like with Lesly...I don't know how she's taking it. I kind of hope she doesn't go around telling others. I doubt she will, but then I really hope she doesn't because it's not something I wanted to be said about me yet to the public. I don't know how to really tell Tasi either because I don't know if she'll take it the wrong way with her views. I don't really want to lose any friends especially now because it's pretty stressful and I miss home a lot. I'm glad my parents and sister came yesterday morning to visit and bring me my guitar, stereo, violin, etc. It made me so happy because I actually felt a bit more at home, like a piece of me was brought back to me. I'm just really thankful for that and my dad tried to like "hug" me before leaving. It turned out to be like a one arm hug lol and a couple pats on the head. Though it's weird for us to all show emotional care for each other, I do know that they truly care for me. I hope everything is fine back at home though.
Yesterday I wanted to write down all that happened this past weekend. I went to my first "sleepover" in her dorm with Cherise. We watched "Brave" the first night, but I was so tired that I just knocked out after we played this one game that's very similar to Apples to Apples. I forgot what it was called blarhhh. Anyway, so the next morning, it was just me and her in the room and I was struggling to get down from the right side bunk because I'm used to the left side one. Later on in the day, we went to Santa Rosa to play the grand piano, but there was people there so we went back to San Miguel. It's really nice because she seems to understand me and that I don't talk so much sometimes. Then we went to their lounge and she played piano for like four hours or so. It was amazing, and I admire her so much. Her and her dorkiness and outbursts of singing songs and all. She's so talented and so much more. So yes, I did sit there admiring her, and she tried to get me to sing Christine's parts in POTO, but as I am, I don't really sing much in front of people and even when I do, I don't even sing out. It's just the way that I am because I get nervous and shy and stuff. I only start to sing around you if I live with you (even then I get embarrassed when my parents or siblings hear me sing) or if I get comfortable with you. We got so caught up with singing and playing around that we didn't even realize Cherise was in the room. I had forgotten my phone in her room so I had no idea where Cherise was and when we found out she was sitting in there the whole time....well that really embarrassed me lol. Just because we had been talking all that time, and though it was nothing bad about Cherise, I just felt exposed because I just didn't realize she was there. Anyway, it was a good day and then we had dinner and were going to watch Love Never Dies after. Cherise felt sick so she couldn't watch it with us. We ended up watching it anyway and we shared my blanket. It was a really good movie, and then after we ended up watching Mulan 2 because we weren't tired yet. However, half way through the movie I got really sleepy and I wanted to fall asleep so badly, but I just didn't want to fall asleep on her. So I look over and she's already fast asleep. I like looked again and it was so cute. It made me smile because she like had her head propped up on her hand since she was sleeping on her side. Then I tried to go to sleep too, but I couldn't and my eyes were just peeking at the movie. Then I looked at her again to check if she was sleeping still since she switched positions to her back, and I couldn't tell since she's pretty chinky herself and plus it was dark. I felt weirded out afterwards because then she just sat up and finished watching the rest of the movie. I didn't know if she saw that I was starring at her or not lol, but anyway...I was so happy because the next day my parents and my little sister came to visit in the morning. I was super tired, but it was really nice to see them again. I totally miss home, but yeah...
Yesterday I wanted to write down all that happened this past weekend. I went to my first "sleepover" in her dorm with Cherise. We watched "Brave" the first night, but I was so tired that I just knocked out after we played this one game that's very similar to Apples to Apples. I forgot what it was called blarhhh. Anyway, so the next morning, it was just me and her in the room and I was struggling to get down from the right side bunk because I'm used to the left side one. Later on in the day, we went to Santa Rosa to play the grand piano, but there was people there so we went back to San Miguel. It's really nice because she seems to understand me and that I don't talk so much sometimes. Then we went to their lounge and she played piano for like four hours or so. It was amazing, and I admire her so much. Her and her dorkiness and outbursts of singing songs and all. She's so talented and so much more. So yes, I did sit there admiring her, and she tried to get me to sing Christine's parts in POTO, but as I am, I don't really sing much in front of people and even when I do, I don't even sing out. It's just the way that I am because I get nervous and shy and stuff. I only start to sing around you if I live with you (even then I get embarrassed when my parents or siblings hear me sing) or if I get comfortable with you. We got so caught up with singing and playing around that we didn't even realize Cherise was in the room. I had forgotten my phone in her room so I had no idea where Cherise was and when we found out she was sitting in there the whole time....well that really embarrassed me lol. Just because we had been talking all that time, and though it was nothing bad about Cherise, I just felt exposed because I just didn't realize she was there. Anyway, it was a good day and then we had dinner and were going to watch Love Never Dies after. Cherise felt sick so she couldn't watch it with us. We ended up watching it anyway and we shared my blanket. It was a really good movie, and then after we ended up watching Mulan 2 because we weren't tired yet. However, half way through the movie I got really sleepy and I wanted to fall asleep so badly, but I just didn't want to fall asleep on her. So I look over and she's already fast asleep. I like looked again and it was so cute. It made me smile because she like had her head propped up on her hand since she was sleeping on her side. Then I tried to go to sleep too, but I couldn't and my eyes were just peeking at the movie. Then I looked at her again to check if she was sleeping still since she switched positions to her back, and I couldn't tell since she's pretty chinky herself and plus it was dark. I felt weirded out afterwards because then she just sat up and finished watching the rest of the movie. I didn't know if she saw that I was starring at her or not lol, but anyway...I was so happy because the next day my parents and my little sister came to visit in the morning. I was super tired, but it was really nice to see them again. I totally miss home, but yeah...
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