Thankful
I am thankful for my parents for bringing me into this world. As much as I hate it sometimes, I really am glad that they gave me life and have raised me up to be who I am today. I am thankful for being sick after midterms. I am thankful for having friends that have my back, and as much as I like bugging them, I am glad I have my younger brother and sister. I am thankful that I am going to UCSB and even though it's tough, I know I can do it like I've done so far in my life. I am thankful for music for being at my company whenever I need it. I am thankful for days like today. Even though it wasn't the best, I love the rain now and I am thankful for all the people I've met in my life. Though many people have been a pain in the butt for me, I guess now looking back at it, it wasn't so bad. I mean it sucked, but it made me so much stronger than what they will ever be. I am thankful that and so much more, but the main thing that people forget to be thankful for is themselves. It's not to be conceited. It's not anything like that. It's that I've finally realized all the crap I put myself through, and to be able to keep standing back up and live is amazing. Sometimes people don't give themselves enough credit for all the shit basically, that they have to endure - the factors in which they can't control - but also all the crap that they can control and put themselves through.
I'm so done with being sick though. All the coughing and crap is just messing with me. I can't even think clearly.
I finally got to see her today for like half an hour. I was pretty happy with the results. I think that was all I needed all week even though I was sick. I just needed to really see her and talk to her for a bit. It sucks because I probably won't see her again this weekend...and you know, what is the point anyway? Even though I like her, she only sees me as a friend. As much as that is good and better than being strangers...it sucks because I end up just being hurt by myself. I am happy when she's around, but when I see her girlfriend on Facebook and stuff...it just breaks me because I know that I'm not in that position in her life. I'm so sick right now so I don't even know if half of this makes sense. I should probably go take a quick shower right now.
I'm so done with being sick though. All the coughing and crap is just messing with me. I can't even think clearly.
I finally got to see her today for like half an hour. I was pretty happy with the results. I think that was all I needed all week even though I was sick. I just needed to really see her and talk to her for a bit. It sucks because I probably won't see her again this weekend...and you know, what is the point anyway? Even though I like her, she only sees me as a friend. As much as that is good and better than being strangers...it sucks because I end up just being hurt by myself. I am happy when she's around, but when I see her girlfriend on Facebook and stuff...it just breaks me because I know that I'm not in that position in her life. I'm so sick right now so I don't even know if half of this makes sense. I should probably go take a quick shower right now.
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