Days

You know that day shit thing when I tried to count how many days it was when I cried. Well I lost track because I've cried like almost every fucking day this month. It makes me frustrated. I'm sleep deprived. My eating is screwed up because of it. It's not that I don't want to eat. My body/mind tells me I don't want it even if I'm hungry. I've been losing hair like mad crazy and yeah I know I have a lot of hair, but it scares me because it's coming out a lot. I'm stressing so much my gray hair is coming out again. I'm so sleep deprived that I think I have a sleeping disorder. I researched it today and it said that it can cause weight gain, diabetes, stroke, etc. No wonder these days I've been gaining weight and my heart has been hurting. My muscles have been weak and I've been having abnormal thoughts. My mind scares me. My iphone isn't working and it's making me so frustrated. I had to go into my room and just let out my anger. -sigh- I don't know how much longer I can take all this stress. I know I should appreciate life. I do so much you don't even know it. But some shit always comes to ruin it and then everything tumbles down. My face looks like I'm dead without my make up and even with makeup I look pale. I don't blush as much as I used to because I'm lacking nutrients in my blood. No one has patience for a sad person. They just don't care. They care about their happiness. I want to be happy so much yet I'm stuck. It's not like I don't try to think positively. I shake a lot more. My skin doesn't shine anymore. I'm weak. I lose balance a lot more and I'm just totally out of it. I have people repeat shit over and over because my mind just doesn't comprehend things as much cause I'm so tired. My eyesight got worse.  Fuck whatever.