Winter Break

So far it is a piece of nothing. I'm going to try to cuss less like him and whateve...but really, I've not really done anything that funn. Over the pass year, I've changed so much. I've realized many things...I've lost friends and I thought that was bad, but then I lost more...it's hit me hard and maybee it's not as hard as other people, I hope it doesn't get worst, but I am still human....and as the older sister I am...I am still only 15. I am not an adult...I may want to be treated like one, but I am nowhere near mature...only mature for my age, but not enough to survive on my own. I'm having too much time again to myself and this rain...5 days already...it's making me crazy. Like what books say....loneliness makes a man go crazy..it's true.

I'm also so tired. I jsut want happiness...I can't have it. I don't even feel the Christmas spirit cause we have NO presents under the tree. Many others don't either around the world....but still...I've never had this before, and now I realize..it's really hitting us. I'm so jealous of those happy with their lives and what they do, their parents are healthy and they don't even know to appreciate them, they get anything they want, they have a house to call home....I want at least my parents to be healthy...but even that's not possible. I don't live in a home...I rent the place so if anything happens to one of my parents...it's going to like kill me practically because Idk how to cook...I want to learn, but idk how. I can't clean the house because I've got so much hw that it just doesn't even....yeah....I just wish some people realized that their life isn't that bad and appreciate it you know? I don't like my life, but I appreciate what my parents gave me and no matter what..I'm going to continue living and fighting it for them.