This week
has been an okay week. It's been tiring, but I made it through. A lot of stuff happened and I wish I could write it out, but I don't remember it all too well. I have such bad memory nowadays and like I don't know. I blank out a lot. My heads been in the clouds lately, it's this school work and no time for leisure fun. I enjoy myself, but then when I stop playing like volleyball or something, I crash. I hate that feeling where your mood just switches so quickly. It makes me frustrated in myself that I can feel so happy in one moment and depressed in the next. It pisses me off.
Yesterday, after 5th period, I went to my lockers as usual and I was facing it while Katie was looking at me. Then she was like, "Anne. Anne. ANNE." I already knew what she meant and I barely looked over and I saw Aaron. I don't give a fuck how sad his life is. He scares me. I hate how he hits on girls and only wants to get some pussy and shit. I hate guys that degrade girls like that, they can gtfo. So he gets behind me and fucking puts his hands on my face to cover my eyes. I was panicking and didn't do anything. I just stood there frozen and when I looked over, he was hiding behind this other guy using his locker near mine. I was like wtf cause then he started to smile in a creepy way and then walked away. WHAT THE TOTAL FUCK. I have had bad experiences with this guy and it creeps me the fuck out, esp. when I don't like him and he came from behind. The fuck man. And then he did it again today and this time I turned around and said, "What are you doing? Can you please not do that again?" I have no idea what he said back, but he left. He better not do it again or else I think I'm going to scream or slap him. Who knows. I hate him. I have been mean to him, and I felt bad so I decided maybe we could be friends, but he fucking pushes my buttons and makes me disgusted in his actions. EWWWWW. Katie and stuff, all they can do is laugh at me. Seriously? You want him to do that to you? I'll introduce him to you if you like it so much. I don't give a fuck if it's funny. At least know that I'm your friend and I absolutely hate it and as a good friend, you could at least try to save me even if it doesn't work, BUT NO. JUST LAUGH. That's good too. Fuck. And then she gets mad and vents to me about Patty...She tells me to go talk to him just to make her jealous. What kind of a friend are you? Damn, that's cruel. I talk to him because I want to. I don't talk to him to make other people jealous and not especially for you. I am not going to do your dirty work for you and commit a sin that will stick with me and not you. Yeah, she's messed up, but at that point, when you say that, I know what kind of friend you are and how you will treat people or me if we ever offended you. You will go behind our backs and talk about us to everyone and do something really horrible. I hate that.
My horoscopes have been crazy good about relationships lately and it makes me happy, but I don't know if it's ever going to become true. I wish. I wish he would just notice me. I want it to happen :l. I'm not tired of being alone. I actually want to be with him. I like him so much it makes my heart hurt. I can't stop thinking about him. He looked so good today too :/ Ugh. I hate it so much. The things I can never have. I want to get him a present, and I think I know what to get, but ehh...this is tough. Things are so expensive and I don't want to spend that much on a guy. I want him to know that I care, and the feelings don't have to be the same, but I don't want to be the only one giving as a friend and then getting nothing back as a friend. I don't need a present, I just need a trustworthy friend who I can always call or hit up when I'm happy or down. That's all I need. A best friend. A close friend. A good friend. I wish he lived near.
Look at all the damn things I wish for. It never comes true. It upsets me so much.
Christee's tomorrow, Melissa's Sun, Appointment tues/wed, Black Friday on Friday with Erica.
Yesterday, after 5th period, I went to my lockers as usual and I was facing it while Katie was looking at me. Then she was like, "Anne. Anne. ANNE." I already knew what she meant and I barely looked over and I saw Aaron. I don't give a fuck how sad his life is. He scares me. I hate how he hits on girls and only wants to get some pussy and shit. I hate guys that degrade girls like that, they can gtfo. So he gets behind me and fucking puts his hands on my face to cover my eyes. I was panicking and didn't do anything. I just stood there frozen and when I looked over, he was hiding behind this other guy using his locker near mine. I was like wtf cause then he started to smile in a creepy way and then walked away. WHAT THE TOTAL FUCK. I have had bad experiences with this guy and it creeps me the fuck out, esp. when I don't like him and he came from behind. The fuck man. And then he did it again today and this time I turned around and said, "What are you doing? Can you please not do that again?" I have no idea what he said back, but he left. He better not do it again or else I think I'm going to scream or slap him. Who knows. I hate him. I have been mean to him, and I felt bad so I decided maybe we could be friends, but he fucking pushes my buttons and makes me disgusted in his actions. EWWWWW. Katie and stuff, all they can do is laugh at me. Seriously? You want him to do that to you? I'll introduce him to you if you like it so much. I don't give a fuck if it's funny. At least know that I'm your friend and I absolutely hate it and as a good friend, you could at least try to save me even if it doesn't work, BUT NO. JUST LAUGH. That's good too. Fuck. And then she gets mad and vents to me about Patty...She tells me to go talk to him just to make her jealous. What kind of a friend are you? Damn, that's cruel. I talk to him because I want to. I don't talk to him to make other people jealous and not especially for you. I am not going to do your dirty work for you and commit a sin that will stick with me and not you. Yeah, she's messed up, but at that point, when you say that, I know what kind of friend you are and how you will treat people or me if we ever offended you. You will go behind our backs and talk about us to everyone and do something really horrible. I hate that.
My horoscopes have been crazy good about relationships lately and it makes me happy, but I don't know if it's ever going to become true. I wish. I wish he would just notice me. I want it to happen :l. I'm not tired of being alone. I actually want to be with him. I like him so much it makes my heart hurt. I can't stop thinking about him. He looked so good today too :/ Ugh. I hate it so much. The things I can never have. I want to get him a present, and I think I know what to get, but ehh...this is tough. Things are so expensive and I don't want to spend that much on a guy. I want him to know that I care, and the feelings don't have to be the same, but I don't want to be the only one giving as a friend and then getting nothing back as a friend. I don't need a present, I just need a trustworthy friend who I can always call or hit up when I'm happy or down. That's all I need. A best friend. A close friend. A good friend. I wish he lived near.
Look at all the damn things I wish for. It never comes true. It upsets me so much.
Christee's tomorrow, Melissa's Sun, Appointment tues/wed, Black Friday on Friday with Erica.
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