School...

School ruins many things. It harms most people's relationships, but yeah it does give you an education. I guess that's great, but people break up just because they DON'T go the the "same school." I think that's total b.s. to give as a reason to break up. Yeah it's understandable if you lost feelings for that one and start to go your separate ways, but giving out that reason is just bull....makes no sense at all because people don't live that far apart...only just like few streets away &go to different schools, but me...my ex &I went out for like one year and 4 months. We don't get to meet much because he lives like almost an hour away from me and we go to totally different schools. It didn't matter about the school thing, we still made it pretty far beecause we learned to trust each other and of course...not cheat. &We worked things out together. &Now I love this one guy, but he lives even further away...and by far...I mean another state, but it's worth loving him because I feel safe when he's like talking to me and such and he makes me feel comfortable enough to show my real self. Anyway, that reason's pretty lame :l &I've only been in school for 2 days, but it's changed soo much.

I don't get to hang out much with my favorite people and we all go our own ways because we don't end up having the same classes together. Hopefully it makes up soon cause I don't want to drift away from great friends.

Then I'm afraid I won't make it in High school...idunno >.< Then that special person...The one that's my everything, my life, my dream in reality. I don't feel close to him anymore :l We talk, but barely >.< &I just miss him so. I have like JL to talk to and even he calls and chats with me more now then I do, with my baby oreo...I tell myself it's going to be alright, but it seems like he's always busy. Ex: yesterday I was left hanging &I signed off later after waiting for more then 45 mins? for a reply from him. I came on later &he said he was playing this one game...haha, that's funny...I was somewhat forgotten to a game :l.

I felt like he doesn't care much about me anymore...I didn't get the chance to tell him what happened yesterday. I came in my shower perfectly fine and when I got out I found like 4 cuts on my arms....Idunno how I got them, but it hurts. He came on at night and I just smiled...totally forgot about them, but he couldn't chat so the pain just all came flooding back in. I sound soo complain-y, but whatever, it does hurt...it's visible on my arms....and I move my arms a lot so it hurts even more. Do you really care as much as you tell me?

Don't tell me or promise things you can't do...just hurts me more :P. So yeah....I miss him a whole bunch...I don't even think he reads this anymore cause he might be "busy," but it's alright I guess. My blog isn't that important....read it just to pass time. Then I don't think I'll be leaving him anymore voicemails cause I think he got bored of listening to one each morning :l because at first he's like I love them! Now it's like whatever...no mention of them unless I said something really important in there. So uhmm....I can't wait for school :l it's going to be soo funn...carrying like all these books and 3 folders + notebooks each day.

"I love you forever &always."

-where did this quote go...is it all past because I don't hear it anymore?-

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add on at 8:06 p.m.

Well....I don't feel happy....it's hard to say? Not really. I just don't get it o.o....Am I TOO obsessed? with him? I am seriously I think...I get all sad if I come on too late &I haven't been able to talk to him....like today so I feel worse. Only talked to him for a bit because we talked about "my problems," but that was pretty much it &it was like "Ohhh...I'm sorry blahblahblahblah...I love you :]."

BSBSBSBS D:< >.<. I know he should have time to be on his own and I do too, but I see him on Myspace and not AIM then I'm like all sad because I wanna talk to him but I can't :l. Argg...stupid blogspot deleted some of my stuff I wrote so uhmm..this doesn't explain much...

-sigh- Lol. Life is like a bitch....people just keep chucking wood at you all the time and each time, the wood is bigger/harder.....need to learn from all those hits....if yah get what I mean :D anyway....I am...
Lonely every minute....well feels like it.
Overly obsessed &addicted to him.
Very afraid of losing the special person.
Every minute you are just running through my mind.

Sad when you sign off or just put :[...I don't like it at all when you're down. I wanna cheer you up and be there for you.
I miss/love you like there will never ever be a tomorrow again.
Can it be possible that I'll fall for you a gazillion times...&it's still not enough?
Kisses...hugs...I wish upon a star for that.

Baby I love you &I never wanna let you go.
Anne-_ _ _ _ _
By day my love for you grows....I miss you so. I wish we were closer.
Y.