Last day of 2010 summer

Arg, I hate it when I have so much to say, but I can't seem to remember it later to write it down. Well today is the last day of summer. My summer this year was like ugh compared to last year...didn't even go to the beach as I wanted. Hopefully next year....my mom went to go buy insurance yesterday :l for in case if she's ever not there anymoree....I didn't know what to say on the ride there and back home. I wish there was just some way for things to be better...Also, I'm worrying about my brother since it's going to be his freshmen year and like he has hair problem...hopefully no one makes funn of him. I hate having to deal with shitt. He also didn't take history cause of AVID. AVID in middle school was okay, but when you take it in HS...it just kills your classes and stuff. School is going to start soon :l I have to sleep at 9 ish....I kind of hate it even though I know I need the sleep for later on - zero period. However, I want to stay up late to talk to him. Yesterday we barely talked for an hour and I had to go sleep...Ended up talking to Anthony and Betty late into the night....I really miss him. I know that when school starts...Idk about him, but I'm going to be busier and ehh...He is going to start "forgetting" me. Not literally, but like he'll lose his feelings and I think I might too. Sometimes I hate moving on from people because I am a person who tends to think "what if..." and sometimes I do a lot for them. Like drawings, poems, etc...or whatever it is...and if I moved on...I would feel as if I wasted all those times and effort on them for nothing. Comprendes? I don't want him to move on especially....I know I might not since there's no guys at my school that really interest me for now. I know he could cause guys....idk, guys are just like that. Plus he has the looks and he's smart and talented so why not? Ehh....I'm going to try not to think so negatively, but it's hard...I can't deal with just talking to him for an hour :( and I want to call him. I literally wanted to last night instead of talking to other peiple, but I keep feeling like I'm going to bother. What if his grandpa is there? What if he doesn't want to talk? What if he thinks I'm boring on the phone since Idk what to say? What if......These two words kill, ugh. -frustrated- I wish I knew what to do...I really miss his voice and him.

My mentor said that someday everyone will find the right person that will make you feel beautiful even if you didn't think so before. You would feel comfortable around them and you wouldn't care about what others think.  They would stand up for you and do anything to make you smile and you would know that they could hurt you, but they wouldn't dare to. Everytime you talk to them...you would feel like you get butterflies and you get all nervous. You would feel the need to make everything perfect even though it doesn't have to be and like you would wait for their texts and just wonder what they would say next. Every little thing about that person matters....I'm feeling like this right now, but I know it's stupid cause I'm still young. I just wish I could meet someone that would feel like that for me and would care as much...as to make convo with me instead of letting me sit there and think of things to entertain them...Maybee once in awhile, but everytime kind of upsets me :l.

Well, I'm going to the doctors later for idk what. Goodday.