mom

You won't shut up will you? You always blame things on me...even if I'm doing it right. You never like yell at Steven or Karen..like wtf. They did it wrong, but you push it away and if it was me..you would yell your ass off. It makes me angry. You say you care, but where in the fucking world do you show that to me? Do you even remember calling me stupid cause I know I do. Do you ever stop to realize that when you say you love us all equally...that you're just like you're mom and you're just making the same mistakes. You love Karen more then Steven, then me. I know it. You think I'm stupid of course, but I'm not. I know you favor her more since she's the youngest and you spend time with her. You have NEVER ever spent time with me to talk or tell me stories as a kid and you would never be playful with me. When I was young...you would go to work and leave me at some babysitter eating fucking noodles everyday. Do you think I like that? No. Do you think I like hearing stories from gramma saying that you like didn't care for Steven when he was small. when he cried and had asthma and was cold and you didn't do a damn shit, but when Karen was hurt a bit you would yell at me. You know...it's unfair and I can see it. I know you love me, but what the fuck did I do to you. I get this shit for loving you. I'm so afraid to show you taht I care that I don't even know how to say sorry to you, tell you Happy birthday, say happy mother's day or even do those little things to help you IN front of you. I always have to hid and probably lie because I can't face the fact that you would always yell at me for EVERYTHING. You like live back in VietNam. It's not VN mom...it's the US...we live here in freedom, but why can't you move on. You always like just never...UGH HH HHHH I DONT EVEN KNOW.