i hate that i love you

I seriously hate that. I wish I didn't like you. Sorry, I don't mean love, I meant like. You don't try. I'm also upset with myself that I find it so difficult to walk away. I knew that if you and I met...and somehow I HAD to walk away...I would, but I wouldn't find enough strength to keep going. I know that I would stop and look back....I can't stand it. I hate myself too for that. I wish I could just leave, but if I did...that meant that I didn't really like you now do I? I'm like the leftovers you choose aren't I because she doesn't wanna fucking be in a relationship and I do. She's there, but she doesn't want you. yeah  she likes you, but she doesn't want you. I like you and I do want you, but I'm here...so now I'm what you pick...because "you like me more" and that I want you. That does sound like you chose me because you couldn't get her. LEFTOVER. Second choice. I don't even think you like me anymore. Just tell me already if you don't instead of leading me on deeper. If you really liked me more...maybee you would have given me a status already...not the "I'm in a fucking relationship", but the status of being your girlfriend. YOURS. But no I'm not that. You don't even go near it. Why? Idk maybee you don't really like me that much, am i right? I hope I'm not.